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December 28, 2012
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1. One night, out of boredom, Till Lindemann performed some light vocal practice that caused a massive explosion that experts recognize today as “The Big Bang.”

2. It is widely believed that Freddy Krueger was burned to death by the parents of Springwood for murdering their children, when in fact Freddy was actually burned to death by one of Till Lindemann's many flame throwers.

3. Till Lindemann created the world's first tidal wave by doing mild swimming exercises.

4. Godzilla's powers were bestowed upon him by Till Lindemann.

5. When confronted with a zombie horde, Till Lindemann simply does the legendary mosh move:The Till Hammer. This move causes the zombies to literally tear themselves a part out of fear.

6. While he is an atheist, Till Lindemann enjoys the Christmas season because it allows him to release his pet, a creature known as 'Krampus' to get some fresh air and terrorize disobedient children.

7. Lightsabers break on contact with Till Lindemann's muscles.

8. Many theorize that Till Lindemann enjoys feeling pain, when they are unaware of the fact that Till Lindemann does not feel pain...pain feels Till Lindemann.

9. The fires of what is believed to be Hell were created by Till Lindemann's flame throwers.

10. Till Lindemann breeds dragons in the summer.

11. The original premise for the “Mein Land” music video was going to feature Till Lindemann fighting a dozen great white sharks with his bare hands...but this would be considered animal cruelty as they all knew the sharks would have no chance of surviving.

12. Children wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas, Chuck Norris would wear Till Lindemann pajamas...if Till permitted him too.

13. Till Lindemann is the only man to have made it onto the infinity dollar bill.

14. Slenderman stalks children...Till Lindemann stalks Slenderman.

15. Till Lindemann's stare has the ability to cure any known disease.

16. Till Lindemann's voice is the only sound capable of echoing through space.

17.  Once, while in a bad mood, Till Lindemann punched a wall...the result was the reunification of Germany.

18. Till Lindemann once beat a werewolf in an arm wrestling contest while writing the lyrics to a new song.

19. Every Thursday, Till Lindemann meets with Anthony Hopkins to have a staring contest. However, neither stares at the other for too long...as they both know the sheer raw power of each of their stares meeting for too long would tear the very fabric of the universe.

20. Children check their closet for the Boogeyman, the Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris, and Chuck Norris checks his closet for Till Lindemann.  
:icongodzillakrueger:
This is purely meant for laughs and is not to be taken seriously.

I do not own Till Lindemann, he owns himself.
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:iconshadowdragon117:
This is probably the best thing I've read in a long time. xD
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:icongodzillakrueger:
~GodzillaKrueger Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you.:bow:
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:iconoswulf:
*Oswulf Jan 20, 2013  Student General Artist
You could do another piece too. The effects of Rammstein videos on the human psyche: how alone the video Haifisch can give a man both bulimia and a fear of heights, space, fire and men in parlour masques.
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:iconstraightedge14:
Holy shit, this stuff is golden! <3
Reply
:icongodzillakrueger:
~GodzillaKrueger Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you.:D
Reply
:iconstraightedge14:
You are very welcome :3
Reply
:iconxxruletheworldxx:
~xXRuleTheWorldXx Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yeah the 17 is awesome! <3 :D
but the 18... that must be the lyrics for 'Tier'! xDDD

very very very awesome! you're a genius! <3 :D
Reply
:icongodzillakrueger:
~GodzillaKrueger Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:bow:

Thank you.:D
Reply
:iconxxruletheworldxx:
~xXRuleTheWorldXx Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're very very welcome ;D
Reply
:iconchibitogedoitsu:
~ChibiTogeDoitsu Jan 2, 2013  Student General Artist
XD Oh Dear God I'm gonna DIE!!
This is the best thing since...hmmm...
Well you get the point! XD
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